Say no to dating book
Relationships develop best when both empathy and respect are in place.
When respect is present, the other person feels that he can be free to be who he is.
Disrespect tends to be more self-centered than malicious in nature, though that does occur also.
You may not be able to actually empathize with someone, but you can always take a position of respect for them.
For example, a guy may restrain himself from pushing his girlfriend sexually for either reason.
He may feel deep compassion for the dilemma he is putting her in.
Or he may restrain himself because he respects her right to make her own moral decisions.