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Gay men aren't toys to be practised on.”Fluidity of any kind has been a difficult concept for the mainstream to get its head round – we really do love to pigeonhole – and it’s had a bad rap from people who don’t understand it.Bisexuality is historically as adventurous as many people’s imaginations would allow, and even then it’s either dismissed as “greed”, totally erased as a phase en route to a more established label – “fully gay” or “totally straight” usually the end result – or seen as a fetish, especially when it's straight guys gazing upon gay or bi women.Of course, nobody needs a label, but for gay and bi guys who worked hard to establish their identity, how does it feel when the man they’re sleeping with won’t do the same?It depends how things play out, whether it’s out in the open or “our little secret”.“The whole time he wasn’t comfortable holding hands or kissing outside.” Even though PDAs were kept to a minimum, it didn’t take long for word to get out.“Friends said they saw the way he was with me, and started assuming he was gay so adjusted their behaviour accordingly.” When Dom found out, things regressed further.But if you’re in a down-low relationship with a straight guy, you can find yourself going backwards.

Does it mean their lovers are any less available to them because they won’t pick a side?

But straight men with sleeping with other men isn’t just a horny trope or a filthy secret – men willing to be open about their sexuality and commitment to identifying as straight do exist.

And, coincidentally, Robin again found himself entangled with one.“Luke was a few months out of an eight-year relationship – his only – with a girl,” says Robin.

"It was purely sexual for him, mainly receiving oral, but because he was the first person who'd ever shown an interest in me, I fell in love,” says Simon, now in his late 20s. He would always tell me he wasn't like me, and couldn't be, because he 'had his whole future ahead of him'.

The idea my future was irrelevant and that in some way admitting he was with me would ruin his, made me feel worthless.

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