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It was not that I did not feel comfortable with my partner, but it was the idea of me relying on someone else, other than myself. I tend to self-sabotage certain areas in my life, not because I’m not ready for it, but because if I hurt myself, then I can live with it, but the idea of someone I love breaking me down, that’s bothersome.
But my most recent relationship taught me that it is safe to slowly open up and rely on someone else from time-to-time. More so, the idea of another person having that much of an affect over me, really scared me.
I kept to myself, and while I was very social, most of my friends knew little about me.
This tends to lead to problems with my personal relationships because I do not readily open up my feelings and emotions.
Growing up as a middle child, I learned to be independent at a very young age. I learned to follow my heart and gut, rather than listen to the opinions of those around me.
I applied to college on my own and planned my future without the consent of my family.
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They have their minds made up, they know what they want and there is no time for games or drama.
It is about living and growing together to better both parties futures, instead of one persom dragging the other along.
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