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May be that’s my I subconsciously withheld that detail. My next big challenge was telling my parents Dave was going to move in with me.
But the questions ensued and they asked if he is American. A complete shocker for Indian parents who cannot fathom a physical relationship before marriage.
I couldn’t be more happy for such an accepting family and extended family—a truly blessed situation.
My parents here, with David and me, for two months now, visiting for our wedding, and sometimes I feel like I may be the daughter-in-law while he’s their son.
I met my now fiancé in New York, NY at my alma mater while I was in the last semester of my Masters in Communication Arts degree and he, David, was pursuing a bachelors in the same course. When we decided to date, seeking the approval of the head of our course department, we were more than excited to find out where the journey would take us.
You see, having been born and lived in India until only two years back at the time, I had never really interacted outside of a classroom with a Haitian-American—or anyone Black as a matter of fact.
But that was in India where most of everyone is Brown. If you heard them talk, you couldn’t tell David wasn’t their own son. Long distance dating was tough but not particularly horrible for us.
Fast-forward a couple of months, David came home to pick me up for the University’s formal dance. A polite handshake, a smile, and a brief conversation later, I could see my sister’s skepticism alleviate.I knew I might be pushing my luck but the worse that could happen is that they would be mad at me and disapprove of my lifestyle. I told them how it was important for us to live together specially after being apart for 2 years, only seeing each other once a month, to hone our relationship; to take the next step forward to figure where this was going.I heard the hesitation in my mom’s voice disappear when my father said, “I understand why this is important for you and there’s nothing wrong in it and I hope you know you don’t need our permission; you’re all grown up now and you live independently. —there are two distinct but typical responses one usually gets from people who hear these words.One of the responses is a positive delight while the other, the more dominant one, is unfortunately that of a negative nature. From learning, accepting, and getting used to the cultural differences between one’s self and their partner to dealing with unaccepting family members; its a constant roller-coaster.