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But perhaps the reason the sometimes skewed path to marriage is so confusing for some can be traced back to a book.

In 1997 a book was published that changed the dating landscape for many young Christians.

y eyes blazed and my mouth dropped open in shock at what I had just heard.“I’m serious,” repeated the gentleman leading out the adult Sabbath School class.

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While many are quick to repeat the cliché that we have to be happy alone before we will be happy with someone else, few of us see ourselves remaining alone forever. Second, instead of fixating on being single or on finding someone, seek to really know yourself.What we are left with today can be considered a hybrid of courtship and dating methods.However, many stories have since surfaced from people hurt by the more extreme view of not dating anyone until you believe God presented “the one.” Tales emerged from those who never dated and are still single in their late 30s and early 40s, and other stories come from those who married the first person they courted, only to divorce.While I attended college at Southern Adventist University, a professor who still believed in the concept of “Southern Matrimonial College” introduced one of his former students to the class.This student had met his wife in that very class, and the teacher wanted to show us that we too could find someone special in school. There isn’t a magic formula for finding “the one”: not courtship, not dating, and not going to an Adventist university.

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